at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
