i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
