Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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