what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
