my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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