Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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