I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
