After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
