so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
