She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
