FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
