i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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