So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
