Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize