dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just google imaged poop.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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