Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
