How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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