he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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