It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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