I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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