take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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