Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
a search helicopter?!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
