i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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