Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
