omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
