it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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