an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
