so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize