Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
