had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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