only if we run a train.
done.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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