he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
