In the future we'll all be gay
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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