He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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