just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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