wrigley field is MILF paradise
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
