No awkward lesbian experiences without me
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
