does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
