Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.

Fav 16 939 1300
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(330): View more from Ohio

you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.

Fav 7 6482 1395
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(702): View more from Nevada

well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?

Fav 56 1643 14041
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(631): View more from New York

we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility

Fav 11 3655 1343
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(706): View more from Georgia

My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday

Fav 8 5500 1255
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(785): View more from Kansas

It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.

Fav 9 3537 1163
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.

Fav 8 2823 839
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.

Fav 1 189 326
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(662): View more from Mississippi

I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.

Fav 0 46 10
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