hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
