it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
