Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
