i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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