It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
