Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
