i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize