I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
