I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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