I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
