after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
