You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
