you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
