If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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