frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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