My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sext me about skeletons
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
