I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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