he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
