you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
