i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My ATM looks so different sober.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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