guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize