We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think I just sharted jello shots
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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