I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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