Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I am naked and annoyed.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
