her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
