You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Drunk is a universal language darling
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
