There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
